AFSDGTLRTHKDF

I am the type of person to literally just over think everything. Whether it's the color of my hair, or my reason for existence, I constantly find myself analyzing every aspect of my life. It's to the point where I drive myself crazy because I can never find the answers. And what drives me even more madly insane, is how I'll probably never find the answers to majority of the questions i have in life.

I always find myself worrying over nothing. It's hard for me to just sit down and relax, I'll always have something on my mind. I get lost inside my own thoughts and head very often. I hate it. The only people that can save me from myself are my best friends, I can't even put into words how much they mean to me. They literally are my other half, without them I don't even know what I'd do...

so so so so excited

Guess what tonight is? Yay Latency. I'm seriously going crazy, I think I may have a heart attack, but at least I'd die happy so who cares.

This is actually going to be the best night of my life.

I'll write about it tonight, right now I have to prepare myself, AH!

regrets?

Have you ever done something, and looked back later and wondered, "what the hell was i thinking?" Ya, I just had one of those moments.

Ex-boyfriend + facebook message = instant regret.

Sometimes I wish I could just go back in time, and take back stupid mistakes or misunderstandings that occurred. I have an endless list of regrets, and I'd do anything to change things. I don't even know how many times I've sat in my room, and I've thought about all the idiotic things I've done, and I've wondered how things would be if I never made the stupid decisions I did. And sometimes I realize that maybe things shouldn't be perfect, and people mess up to make each other stronger, and people make mistakes so they can learn to forgive one another, but most of all people break hearts to learn what love really is, and figure out who that one person is.

well, that kinda sucked

Don't you just love when you're supposed to work, you show up, and then they send you home?

fml.

I was supposed to start at noon, considering the restaurant was dead, since it's the long weekend, the managers decided around 11 that "oh, maybe we don't need Carley here." So, you'd think they'd just give me a quick call, but no, they didn't. They let me drive 15 minutes to work, waste my gas money, walk in, and walk out. It was kind of annoying.

If a manager knows by 11 that they won't need me there, please just take the 2 seconds out of you life to call me and that would be it. It's really not that difficult, I don't see why they couldn't just do that one simple task for me.

And to complain more, on top of just this morning, how about having an 8 hour shift, and being sent home after an hour and a half, and then the next day suppose to close, and get sent home 5 hours before close? How awesome are my past 3 shifts. Seriously just indescribable. So now, I got up at 10:30 this morning, to LOSE money on gas, rather then make money at work. Awesome, just fabulous.

Well, on the plus side, at least it's nice out, maybe I'll go get my tan on.

good-bye summer '09

So I'm watching this random TV show, that I've never seen before, let alone heard of. It's based on a graduation class of 1988, where they are all finally reunited 20 years later. The jock, homecoming queen, the preacher's daughter, the cheerleader, the outcast, the punk skater, the loner, the ugly duckling, the outcast, etc. It's insane how people can put labels on someone, and I just couldn't imagine putting labels on people in my high school graduating class, it's crazy. 

There was one part in the show, where I literally started crying, there was "the preacher's daughter" who never had a detention, never got into any trouble in high school, but sent her best friend a letter after high school, telling her she can't be friends with her anymore. It's unreal to think of that ever happening. I've lost so many amazing friends over my high school years, and it just kills me to think about it.

One friend I lost to a boy, you know the classic story. Well try getting a text from your boyfriend on your best friends phone, saying I don't want to be with you anymore. Ya, take it from me, it hurts.

Another friend that I had so much in common with, and was probably one of the best friends I've ever had, spends all her time with her boyfriend, and I probably haven't seen her in months. It's seriously so painful to lose a friend like that one.

But enough of my complaining, it's gorgeous outside, I got my tan on, and I'm going to work in a couple hours to make some money money. But sadly, it's the last night of drinking and partying until everyone goes back to school, and I'm stuck working.

Good bye summer '09, it's been fun.

finally something to do tonight

Well, i'm not a complete loner haha. Thankfully I found something to do tonight. A couple of my friends finally decided that they would like to go out, which is awesome I didn't feel like staying in tonight, cause I work all night tomorrow.

Party or bar? Who knows, we haven't completely made up our minds, but thankfully we're still doing something, rather then sitting here doing nothing like I've done all day.

dear the latency, i love you

3 days until the most unreal concert of my life.

September 8th, please come faster!

The Latency, you are incredible, and I can't put into words how excited I am to see you.

:)